I Lost My Best Friend
Guest Contributor - courtesy of Dee Ivings - The tribute below is from Dee to her lovely Sammy Bear, and her words echo so much of what many of us feel.
www.happytailsmagazine.co.za - a wonderful on-line magazine that tells of happy endings - wonderful to read - enjoy!
This is my baby girl. And her tribute…
Today is one week without my little granny girl and the pain in my heart, body and soul ebbs and flows, together with my uncontrollable tears.
I have questioned (did I do enough for her, could I have done more, did I do something wrong, did she know how how much I tried, does she know that I am sorry that I left her suffer too much at the end, but I thought she would bounce back as she did so many times before, does she know how much I loved her and how much she is missed?).
I have eaten my weight in chocolate and taken tablets to kill the pain and make me sleep (which haven’t helped), I have wept more tears that I thought I had in me, I have had moments when I have felt totally paralysed with grief. I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to be awake… I don’t want to be anywhere in the cottage as I see her everywhere and the spaces where she would be hurt too much.
I am battling a cracked rib too (my girl left me with that when it snapped as I swiftly twisted to save her from falling off the car seat before we left for the her last trip to the vet, but I wear it bravely like a wounded soldier and to be honest, the pain pales in comparison to my heartache).
I am relieved that my Sammy Bear is once more in perfect form, her suffering is over and she fought a brave fight against both kidney failure, IBD and old age. I am so proud of my girl. To her last day, she still wanted to go for a her daily walk (I carried her but she still hopped out of her carrier back to have a sniff about). At 16 years and 8 months, she lived a wonderful life… all on her terms. “What Sammy wanted, Sammy got”, and she was my little trusty steed.
The past three years (5 days short of her kidney failure diagnosis in 2019), was a journey of note. I never left her side, I researched, I Googled, I made firm friends battling the same horrid disease and did my level best to help my girl.
The past year (diagnosed with IBD in January), the level of care ramped up (today is a year ago since I left the cottage - bar a vet check up once a month (or more this past month), and the past two months the angst, worry, care and still hope, were off the charts. But we forged through with courage and God-given strength. Sammy taught me patience, gratitude, and unconditional love.
Her mission on earth is done, and she although she is gone from my physical world, she will live on in my heart - now and for always. I miss my mommy’s girl! PIP (Play In Peace) Sammy Bear. ❤️
Today is one week without my little granny girl and the pain in my heart, body and soul ebbs and flows, together with my uncontrollable tears.
I have questioned (did I do enough for her, could I have done more, did I do something wrong, did she know how how much I tried, does she know that I am sorry that I left her suffer too much at the end, but I thought she would bounce back as she did so many times before, does she know how much I loved her and how much she is missed?).
I have eaten my weight in chocolate and taken tablets to kill the pain and make me sleep (which haven’t helped), I have wept more tears that I thought I had in me, I have had moments when I have felt totally paralysed with grief. I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to be awake… I don’t want to be anywhere in the cottage as I see her everywhere and the spaces where she would be hurt too much.
I am battling a cracked rib too (my girl left me with that when it snapped as I swiftly twisted to save her from falling off the car seat before we left for the her last trip to the vet, but I wear it bravely like a wounded soldier and to be honest, the pain pales in comparison to my heartache).
I am relieved that my Sammy Bear is once more in perfect form, her suffering is over and she fought a brave fight against both kidney failure, IBD and old age. I am so proud of my girl. To her last day, she still wanted to go for a her daily walk (I carried her but she still hopped out of her carrier back to have a sniff about). At 16 years and 8 months, she lived a wonderful life… all on her terms. “What Sammy wanted, Sammy got”, and she was my little trusty steed.
The past three years (5 days short of her kidney failure diagnosis in 2019), was a journey of note. I never left her side, I researched, I Googled, I made firm friends battling the same horrid disease and did my level best to help my girl.
The past year (diagnosed with IBD in January), the level of care ramped up (today is a year ago since I left the cottage - bar a vet check up once a month (or more this past month), and the past two months the angst, worry, care and still hope, were off the charts. But we forged through with courage and God-given strength. Sammy taught me patience, gratitude, and unconditional love.
Her mission on earth is done, and she although she is gone from my physical world, she will live on in my heart - now and for always. I miss my mommy’s girl! PIP (Play In Peace) Sammy Bear. ❤️